I’ve had four names in my life. It’s hard to keep track.
Occasionally, when I meet a person for the first time, as we are shaking hands and exchanging names, I have to pause. It’s a brief pause, but it’s still noticeable and just a little awkward. I’m trying to remember my name.
“Hi, so good to meet you, I’m Jay…no, I’m Nic…no, I’m…shit…Elizabeth. That’s it. I’m Elizabeth.”
My first name: The Korean name I got when I was born in South Korea. My three surviving grandparents got together, consulted a “wise person” who doled out prosperous names to newborns as a side gig, and got my name: Rae Jin.
My second name: The American name I got six minutes before my family registered me for kindergarten. They flipped through an old magazine in the school office and came across Jayne Barbera’s name. Ok, done deal: Jayne.
My third name: After 6 years as Jayne, I decided I needed a little pizazz in my life. But what? A new hobby? A new bedspread? No, a new name!
I narrowed down my list to just four choices:
- Brooke
- Mickey (After the mouse. I shit you not.)
- Nicky
- Elizabeth
After a few weeks of back-and-forth, I decided against the first two names. Then, I couldn’t decide between the last two. I liked the hard “k” sound in Nicky, but I loved the way my math teacher, Ms. Elizabeth G, wrote her name on the blackboard.
So, I combined the two. Nicky Elizabeth.
This is why we don’t allow fifth graders to name themselves: NICKY ELIZABETH.
For close to a month, I insisted everyone call me by my new pizazz-y name. I wrote it on all of my homework, forced my friends to address me by the name in its entirety (not Nick or just Nicky or just Elizabeth. I demanded the full NICKY ELIZABETH.)
I changed my mind after I started getting hand cramps each time I wrote my name.
My fourth name: I decided to keep “Elizabeth.” Ms. G made it look so damn good on the blackboard. In homage to my family, who didn’t kick me out of the house for going through an early life identity crisis, I threw “Jayne” back in: Elizabeth Jayne.
Today, I’m legally Elizabeth Jayne. Well, when I remember anyway.
___
Did you ever want another name?
