05.07.12

Monday Dare: Thug Passions

Every week, I challenge myself to a Monday Dare. You can click on the link if you’d like to see the complete list of Monday Dares or learn more about its origin.

This week: Figure it out

I can’t wait to be a grown-up. I’m pretty sure it’s going to happen any day now. Well, I’ve been “pretty sure” for about twelve years, but this time, I feel like it’s right around the corner. For real. Okay, maybe not FOR REAL for real, but isn’t that how probability and chance work: the longer you’re in it, the more likely you are to win it? I think I just made that slogan up. If it sounds original to you, don’t steal it, but if it sounds like something you saw on a billboard in Kentucky for the Mega Millions, then just know that I totally didn’t plagiarize, because I’ve never been to Kentucky. You and your goddamn accusatory ways.

I can’t speak from personal experience because I’ve never even come close to acting or thinking like a real adult, but word on the street is that these types of individuals possess a certain knowledge about their own skills and strengths. They know what they’re good at because they’ve pinpointed an interest and then cultivated and refined it until it’s become a usable and value-adding skill. They may have even obtained some sort of degree.

I don’t have a degree. I mean, yes, I did once have a dream that I sent a check for $47.99 plus $8.99 to cover shipping and handling for an honorary diploma with one of those fancy gold seals from Thugs R Us University, which I then framed using a “50% off all custom frame orders” Michael’s coupon I got from the Sunday newspaper, but in reality, all I have is a high school diploma and confusion about what I’m really good at in life.

This has been on my mind since I helped a friend put together her resume recently. In solidarity, I did one myself. So far, the Skill Section includes:

  • Know a lot of swear words
  • Know a lot of slang
  • Almost have my anger issues under control

This may seem like the kind of well-rounded assets that any employer would be thrilled to see, but since I have such high standards, it still didn’t seem good enough. Sometimes, I think I’m too tough on myself and my impossibly high standards make life unnecessarily difficult.

I’m digging down deep this week to think about my own skills and strengths. The ones that will serve me well when I finally do become a grown-up. After some careful consideration this morning, I’ve also added this to my Skill Section:

  • Unusually gifted envelope licker

I put that because, once, I had to lick 250 wedding invitation envelopes and I didn’t get a single paper cut. My tongue didn’t even dry out. It’s like a veritable sponge. In the interest of full disclosure, I want to add here that I don’t really know what “veritable” means, but I hear it a lot on serious television shows, so I’m betting it’s a good thing.

When did you first feel like an adult? How did you discover your skills, strengths, and talents? What are they?

P.S. I’m so excited about this, I don’t even know what to do with myself, but…
I AM ON HUFFINGTON POST, Y’ALL.  I always try to be an open book about my life, but the topic I wrote about is so near and dear to my heart, I haven’t talked about it very much before.

P.P.S. I announced the HuffPo news as soon as it hit on the Flourish in Progress Facebook page. “Like” the page to get the latest updates…and also some stupid shit you could probably do without.
image via urbanelifestyle.tumblr.com

May 7, 2012
04.16.12

Monday Dare: Are you a runner? And not the kind on a treadmill.

Every week, I challenge myself to a Monday Dare. You can click on the link if you’d like to see the complete list of Monday Dares or learn more about its origin.

This week: Quit quitting

I have a running problem. Not the kind of running problem that happens when you’ve been logging in 18 miles a day and develop shin splints but then power through the pain even when a fragile little tear is forming at the inside corner of your eye as your feet pound pound pound the pavement because you’re a goddamn gladiator.

No, not that kind.

I run from problems.

Maybe you claim to be the type of person that doesn’t run from problems. In that case, let me be the first to point out that you may have a problem with lying.

People this advice will speak to: Young People, Old People, Rich People, Poor People, People with Fake Boobies, People with Real Boobies, People who Appreciate Tupac, People with No Taste in Music, People who Appreciate a Smooth Hit of Crack, People who Just Say No, and Honest People

People this advice will not speak to: People with Denial Issues

I’m not just talking about big problems- the kind that could land you in serious debt or at Heartbreak Hotel. Maybe you’re the type of person to walk away from a copier machine at Kinko’s after jamming it instead of asking a friendly copy expert to help you fix the machine. Not that I would do something so juvenile and dishonest. I should also add here that I’m no longer allowed inside the Kinko’s on Wilshire Boulevard in Beverly Hills. Make of that information what you will.

For a long time, I told myself that I wasn’t running. I was simply “not wasting my time on bullshit.” Which was bullshit.

Now, I ask myself this one question when I am about to walk away:

When this moment becomes a memory, will I regret not sticking it out?

I then remind myself: No deposit, No return.

Well, it’s actually not quite so succinct or eloquent when it’s running through my head. It’s more like, “Are you going to man up, ho? Are you going to see this shit through like a brave motherfucker?”

When something becomes too tough or too complicated or too scary, I want to walk away and put it out of my mind. I don’t want to devote the precious time it takes to see it through because I hate being vulnerable, and I hate feeling like a loser. Misunderstanding with a friend? Just unfriend that homette on Facebook. Rough day with a partner? Erase all sweet reminders and drown my sorrows in cheap champagne. Writer’s block? Smash the computer with my bare fists and renew my vows to full-time thuggery (Is that even a word? Let’s pretend it is.).

I don’t want to be that person anymore. If I fall flat on my face, so be it. If I end up crying in a bar at 2:47 p.m. in a faraway city because shit didn’t work out, so be it.

I’m just going to keep on keepin’ on. Because some things are worth it. Because occasionally, when I practice being dedicated, motivated and patient, the payoff is immense. Mindblowing, even.

I’m afraid. But I’m pushing through it.

How do you decide when to stick something out-a new hobby, job, relationship, friendship, relocation….?

P.S. You + Me + Facebook = YES.
Subscribe to Flourish in Progress to get new posts in your feed reader or by email. Because everyone could use a little more junk in their inbox.
image via pinterest

April 16, 2012