12.10.12

Monday Dare: Happy Birthday. I’m sorry I stole money from you. (& Cal’s Birthday Giveaway)

Every week, I challenge myself to a Monday Dare. Click on the link to see the complete list of Monday Dares or learn more about its origin.

This week: Celebrate. A LOT.

Cal: Mommy, do you think we’re both going to become adults at the same time?

Me: Uh, what do you mean by that?

Cal: Like, by the time I’m mature, do you think you’re going to be mature too?

I wish I had better answers for all of Cal’s difficult questions. Do you think everyone can be happy? Can you explain quadratic equations? Why did you take money from my piggy bank without telling me so you could buy that lip-plumping gloss?

There is still so much I don’t know.

When a hospital nurse offered to take our first mother and daughter picture, she saw the apprehension in my face and assured me, “Don’t worry, you won’t break her.”

I asked to sit down first. I spread my arms apart and widened my fingers, trying to create a larger surface area. Then, I motioned with my head for the nurse to place her in my web.

Cal and I spent a minute eyeing each other. Her long eyelashes swooped up and down as she blinked, and then she went back to staring.

I leaned down and whispered in her ear, “It’s possible that I will never love anyone more than you. It’s okay if you break my heart, because I will still love you.”

I knew, I just knew, that I would never turn my back on her, that I would always believe her. I would never make her beg for acceptance or forgiveness.

I gritted my teeth as the nurse snapped our first picture:

(I am 19. Cal is just a few hours old.)
Happy birthday, kid. I always got your back.
___

I F***ING LOVE PRESENTS giveaway #4 (Pretty sure Cal has heard the “F” word already, but I’m keeping it G rated this week anyway.)

I f***king love presents. Maybe you do too. To celebrate this holiday season, I’ll be doing a giveaway each week until the end of the year. Get connected on the Flourish in Progress Facebook page and on Instagram (username: flourishinprogress) for not-posted-on-this-blog pictures, (t)hug life thoughts, and other random shi…stuff.

This week: The Hunger Games Trilogy Boxed Set (Hardcover) aka Cal’s Favorite Books of 2012

Every year, when I ask Cal what she wants for her birthday, her answer is always the same. Books. Lots and lots of book. She carries a book with her wherever she goes. She reads her favorites over and over again. Cal asked if we could give away The Hunger Games Trilogy as part of her birthday week celebration. That kid is so nice. My parenting skills must be OFF THE CHAIN.

TO ENTER: Leave a comment below with the title of your favorite book(s) from childhood. Just as I did for last year’s birthday post to Cal, I’m going to let her read the comments. If you’d like to leave Cal a little note, I bet it would thrill her. Only comments left on THIS POST qualify.

LAST WEEK’S WINNER: Knotted Tresses. Please email me at flourishinprogress at gmail dot com with your name (unless that is your real name, in which case, my bad) and your address.
first image courtesy of Bonnie Tsang

December 10, 2012
12.04.12

Monday Dare (& Giveaway!): I see you on that Facebook Grind

Every week, I challenge myself to a Monday Dare. Click on the link to see the complete list of Monday Dares or to learn more about its origin.

This week: Put down the goddamn phone

Sometimes, I like to play “What Would You Save If Your House Were Burning Down And You Could Only Take Three Things And Don’t Say Your Heirloom Dining Room Table Cuz Ain’t No One Strong Enough To Carry A Goddamn Solid Oak Table” with my friends. I’ve overheard a few snickers and complaints about the length of the title, but I don’t let it get to me. Hateful words often stem from jealousy. Not everyone has a flair for Game Naming.

My mint-condition collection of Yo! MTV Raps trading cards were part of My Three until recently when I had all the good ones matted and framed. I’ll be the first to admit my physical limitations. My shoulder muscles aren’t developed enough to carry an extremely large Rap Shrine.

I’d save Cal’s baby book even though I stopped updating it when she was four months old because clearly, I’m just too lazy to do even one thing right for my only child. Whenever friends and family ask to see recent pictures of Cal, I just tell them to “Facebook that shit, motherfucker.”

I thought about saying some socially acceptable answers for my other items, but that’s not how our friendship works, and I honor that.

I would save my iPhone. Everyone always responds with three items, but I don’t need that many. When you’ve got a mostly empty baby book and your best friend, what more do you need?

Vincent (don’t even try to pretend that your phone doesn’t have a name too) and I have been through a lot. We recently took a trip to San Francisco together:

I saved this picture on my computer as BestBuddies.jpg. It probably would have been a much better shot if my three friends from the Ghetto Genius Crew weren’t crowded around us. Jay Wunder, the Ghetto Genius himself, wrote afterwards on his site:Flo-Rich was glued to her fucking phone Facebooking, Twittering and Instagramming so much that Anonymous pulled her ass to the side and said she was two posts away from a goddamn intervention. 

I made an effort to keep Vincent in my purse the next evening, but my hands weren’t used to being unoccupied. My ears weren’t used to the silence. The constant ding of emails and texts and tweets and notifications from Facebook and Instagram and Words with Friends and phone calls and weather alerts is what lets me know I’M ALIVE, BITCHES.

I slipped away and locked myself in a bathroom stall. Maybe I took too long, but I’m sure there are perfectly good explanations for being in a public restroom for 47 minutes, none of which I could think of when I heard a knock on the stall door: “I SEE YOU ON THAT FACEBOOK GRIND. PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE.”The first step is admitting I have a problem. That’s what I learned from my friend H-Bomb during my intervention inside the women’s restroom at O’Reilly’s

___
I FUCKING LOVE PRESENTS giveaway #3

I fucking love presents. Maybe you do too. To celebrate this holiday season, I’ll be doing a giveaway each week until the end of the year. Get connected on the Flourish in Progress Facebook page, on Instagram (username: flourishinprogress), and on Twitter (@ElizabethJLiu) for giveaway updates, (t)hug life thoughts, pictures, and other random shit.

This week: MNKR “Fuck the Fuckers” T-shirts Giveaway

I proudly wear this t-shirt in public all the time. Except when I have to go to PTA meetings. Then, I’ll throw a delicate cardigan over it, and all you can read is “UC H CKE.” Yesterday, I bumped into Kandace, one of the brains behind MNKR’s fierce line of apparel and accessories, and she generously offered TWO Fuck the Fuckers t-shirts (one women’s, one men’s) for this giveaway. Thanks, Kandace!

TO ENTER: Leave a comment below with the three things you would save if we were playing “What Would You Save If Your House Were Burning Down And You Could Only Take Three Things And Don’t Say Your Heirloom Dining Room Table Cuz Ain’t No One Strong Enough To Carry A Goddamn Solid Oak Table.” Only comments left on THIS POST qualify. I’ll announce a winner next Monday.LAST WEEK’S SKULL NECKLACE WINNER: Danielle with the numbers 0212 in your email address. Please email me at flourishinprogress at gmail dot com.

first image via pinterest
December 4, 2012