Flourish in Progress

In my early 20’s, I got hit on by a fellow named Shady at a gas station. He told me I was beautiful and then asked me for my phone number. He offered to pump my gas. He wasn’t being chivalrous; it was part of his job. He was the station attendant.

Last year, at the tail end of a girls’ night out, my girlfriend and I ended up at a lounge. A particularly aggressive-looking young man made a beeline for me and introduced himself. His name slips my mind, but I do recall that he had just gotten out of prison and that most of his front teeth were missing. I vividly remember this last fact because a generous sprinkling of his salivary gland emissions landed on my brand new dress.

Which brings us to last week.

I challenged myself to embrace the museum experience as a Monday Dare, and after a few misstarts, I finally spent my Thursday afternoon at the LACMA. Afraid of repeating the Louvre debacle, I refrained from commenting or pointing. I’m not gonna lie….it was hard. I guess I’ll go ahead and mention that I leaned against some wood left over from the construction of an exhibit to steady myself while I adjusted my shoe, and come to find out from an official museum person, the wood was the exhibit. Oh, contemporary art, it’s never easy with you, is it?

I should really tell you about the genuinely delightful time I had at the museum but instead, I’m going to fill you in on the Dazzler (an official museum person, no less) that asked me the magical question that unlocks all the doors of my heart.


Are you Chinese?

Because I like to practice being classy once in a while, I smiled and walked away, politely throwing a “no” in his direction. He clearly wasn’t satisfied with my answer. He trotted along next to me and asked-

You gotta man?


I decided classy wasn’t really the way to go here, so I picked up the pace and curtly informed him that I was married. And that’s when he decided to bare his heartstrings-

Is he here?


Mom, wife, artist, and most certainly, bonafide Dazzler magnet.

When I started this project a mere four weeks ago, I pictured a completely different experience. I thought by now, surely, I’d be rocking back and forth in a corner, flipping through mail order catalogs and slyly clipping pictures for my “Buy Next September” stash. I doubted that I could really enjoy my year (this early on, anyway).

I assumed I’d blog about the money I saved every day. I planned on averaging out expenses from the same date over the past three years (meticulously tracked by Harv in Microsoft Excel), adding in what my shopaholic heart would have purchased, and posting the Grand Total of Savings in my daily report. I’d then juxtapose those embarrassingly high figures with the modest amount I did spend on personal necessities, husband and daughter related expenses (both are not on The Project, but they wish me the best of luck), and Monday Dare experiences. I feared I would whine constantly and feel bored.

Thank goodness even the best laid plans leave room for a different reality.

I find myself cataloguing all the marvelously funny and delightfully simple pleasures I ignored in my everyday life.

When I stopped spending needlessly, I gained time. So. Much. Time. Instead of obsessing about buying, I felt a sense of relief. I no longer worry about missing a sale altogether or waking up at the crack of dawn to be first in line for a sample sale. I don’t spend hours scouring store after store for shoes in my impossibly difficult size 4 1/2. I don’t throw magazines into my grocery cart while I’m standing in the check-out line. I usually end up tossing these magazines that same evening after reading them. Just a few plusses in a very long list.

It’s obvious to me that The Project is no longer just about the numbers.

I’m grateful for all the kind words of encouragement. My friends and family make this small project seem like a big hurrah. I’m surprised by (and thankful for) all the lovely notes and messages I’ve received from friends I’ve never met but know through common interests from the world wide web.

4 weeks down, 48 more to go. I’m looking forward to it…..really.

photo: Bonnie Tsang