09.24.13

Hustle Hard Interview Project: Kristen Kish

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Kristen-Kish-at-Menton

To celebrate my 32nd birthday, I started the Hustle Hard Interview Project. Each month, I’ll be interviewing a Hustler who embodies a skill or a quality I admire. I hope to uncover some gems that bring me one step closer to being a fully-formed adult.

#11: GOOD KARMA

My general attitude towards cooking has always been I Don’t Know. I Don’t Care. Not My Problem. Because this outlook occasionally causes problems like hunger, I’ve learned to keep several loaves of white bread handy. Eat a slice as-is out of the bag, and it’s a light snack. Compress two into a dense ball, and it really transforms into a meal. I’m confident that having a basic knowledge of food preparation would have prevented that kitchen fire several years ago, but I don’t want to dwell on the incident. The flames only affected one very small area, and no one was severely injured.

Top Chef: Seattle was the first competitive cooking show I ever watched. At first, it wasn’t by choice, but we needed a new family activity, and watching television together met both of my requirements: easy and cheap. Although I made an impassioned plea for Hardcore Pawn, I was outvoted 2-1. I couldn’t even muster up disingenuous excitement as we sat down to watch the first episode together. And then Kristen Kish happened.

I am fascinated by people who keep it real. But so many people use honesty and awareness as a license to be cruel with their words and actions. Not only does Kristen stay true to herself, but she has found a way to keep kindness king without compromising her integrity. As the season unfolded on Top Chef: Seattle, Kristen inspired me to seek self-awareness and to embrace my whole story. And, as the winner of Season 10, she has taught me this very important lesson: When dealing with basic bitches, stay on the high road. Good karma always wins.

EJL: For a limited time, anyone can put on a front. I got the impression, though, from watching your journey on Top Chef, that you’re not one of those chameleons that change who they are based on the people around them. You’re self-aware and confident. And I like that you don’t get flustered easily. Have you always been that way?

KK: I used to make decisions based on impulse, but I’ve spent a lot of time going through questions in my head and asking, “Why?” I can take advice from a lot of different people, but I needed to go through the process of defining who I am based on self-discovery. I used to care so much about what other people thought about me, but it kept me from doing what I wanted to do.

EJL: You’re only the second female winner in ten seasons of Top Chef. Your culinary skills and French-influenced cuisine were clearly a standout during the competition, but the show is so much more than just cooking. When so many different personalities collide in an intensely competitive environment, things can get…rough. Even when you could have spoken out against a fellow competitor, you didn’t. You were No Drama, No Bullshit. Uh, can you give me some tips?

KK: I didn’t need to bash anyone because I can get my point across in a way that doesn’t involve cattiness. Some people play it up for the camera, but actions always speak louder than words. I had to bite my tongue a few times, but my parents taught me to be kind and to conduct myself with integrity. Everything I’ve done, I credit to my parents.

EJL: Damn. I really need some parenting tips from your folks. You were adopted from South Korea as a baby and raised in Michigan. On the show, you mentioned plans to visit South Korea. What’s your interest in going?

KK: I want to see where I came from. Not necessarily who anymore, but where. I thought I was supposed to meet my birth parents, not because I wanted to, but because I had to. But it’s my upbringing that defines me and not just where I started.

EJL: Life can be defined as a series of before and after moments. Is winning Top Chef that moment for you professionally?

KK: It’s opened a lot of doors, so I see it more as opportunities rather than validation. I’m cooking the food I love to cook and learning along the way. Working at Menton and having Barbara [Lynch] as a boss has taught me a lot. Every chef, regardless of what they’ve done in the past, has to prove themselves in the kitchen, and I’m willing to prove myself. When I started, everyone had to like my food. But now, I know that people can choose not to like your food, but maybe they’ll appreciate what you do. I’m not going to change the way I cook. My standards have gotten me this far.

EJL: I started a kitchen fire once trying to make spaghetti. Can anyone learn to cook?

KK: [long pause] Everyone can learn to cook something.

EJL: Keeping kindness king, I see.

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P.S. Want to waste time at work? I can help.

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photo: Andrew Wang for Lux & Concord

September 24, 2013
09.12.13

Inhale the good shit. Exhale the bullshit.

coolerwrong

I tend to discount advice from friends, because honestly, if they’ve chosen to be friends with me, then what exactly does that say about their ability to make solid life choices? Hm?

Eventually, “Shalinda” might repeat something that several other people have opined, and if those several other people and this “Shalinda” aren’t associated with each other (Always a giveaway in my mind that it’s a joint venture intervention and Goddammit I’m onto you.), then I might consider it as a possibility. Very rarely do I ever complete the thought process and make a decision as to whether the statement is actually right or wrong. When I’m forced to perform difficult tasks like thinking, especially if it’s for more than a nine or ten seconds, I become emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally drained for days. By the time I recover, I have to use my brain again for a completely different thought. Life is hard.

I’ve always believed that my self-image comes from no one else but me. This is so far from the truth that I am totally embarrassed to admit it. In eight grade, I found out that Achilles is actually pronounced “a kill eez” and not “a chill eez” in front of the entire class, and that was pretty rough. I don’t want to sound dramatic, but my recent revelation was even worse than that time in eight grade. Sometimes you need a point of reference to understand the gravity of a situation.

I came to the realization that the way I view myself is largely comprised of other people’s opinions and not my own during lunch with a good friend. I wished out loud to be more like my family. Harv and Cal are so brilliant. I’m just the odd thug out.

“Elizabeth, you’re smart,” she said.

Out of habit, I immediately launched into a list of reasons backed by actual events and a few fun factoids that discredited her kindness.

She replied in a no-nonsense tone, “I can’t be friends with dumb people. It’s exhausting.”

I let myself consider the possibility for more than nine or ten seconds. It blew my fucking mind. Like, forrealz.

Since kindergarten, when I repeatedly peed in my pants because I couldn’t remember enough English to request a hall pass, I believed that I was dumb. After lunch, I sat in my car and thought about being stupid and other “truths” which shaped my self-image. They were so deeply rooted and long-standing that I had just assumed they were true.

The passing comments and direct criticism I heard as a kid shaped my Me View. Because the majority of those early comments were negative, I learned to discount any positive statements. And worse still, any time I heard negativity that fed those early seeds, I welcomed it because I thought that person was seeing my core.

I find it ironic that it was yet another person’s opinion that lifted the curtain and propelled me to examine the wasteland I held as Core Truths. I’ve always regarded kindness with suspicion, but I was wrong as fuck. It’s actually cooler than shit to have people in your life who can tell you the truth and be kind too. It may not always happen at the same time, but these people help you see the truth about yourself…if you let them. THANK YOU, L.

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My homegirl, Shannon Bindler, wrote this: “I Am Beautiful” Are Not Dirty Words. I love it. I’m so grateful to have people in my life like Shannon who keep kindness king.

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I experimented with my new work method: One Game Of Candy Crush Per Paragraph. Are there some design flaws? Yes. However, I am not a quitter and will continue to modify aforementioned method. You can “like” the Flourish in Progress Facebook page or follow along on Instagram (username: flourishinprogress) to get updates on my exhaustive research and for other (t)hug life happenings like snapshots from my past weekend at Rock the Bells aka Gangsters Paradise. Thank you for your support.

September 12, 2013