Monday Dare: you’re invited

Every Monday, I’m picking from the List of Things to Do, Place to Go, Possible Acts that Help, and Possible Fun to Have. It’s a list I made before The Projectstarted, and I’m still adding to it. If you have suggestions, please feel free to throw them my way. I’m calling the list myMonday Dares, as I get overwhelmed just looking at the words “challenge” or “goal.”

This week: Plan a party.

I’m having a party. You’re invited.

Okay, that’s an overstatement. What I meant to say is: I’m thinking about having a party. And if it happens, you’re totally invited.

I don’t want to make you feel bad about yourself, but I’ve had some pretty amazing birthdays. When I was 10, I threw an over-the-top pink ballerina party to celebrate the big 1-0. I invited all 33 kids in my class and 10 kids from church. My brother and I even swapped out the plain masking tape holding my glasses together for some fancy-schmancy Hello Kitty tape.

I crimped my hair, threw on some pink scrunch socks, and busied myself by re-checking all 43 party favor bags. Everyone was going to walk away from my party with pink slap bracelets AND a tape of Mariah Carey’s single, “Vision of Love.” What can I say? I’m an amazing hostess.

Underneath the excitement, I was a little worried. How was my house going to hold all 43 kids? Maybe news of the party had spread to other classes, and I was going to have to turn away party crashers. What if kids got into a fight trying to sit next to the Birthday Girl?

Two kids showed up. I returned 41 unneeded Mariah Carey tapes to the store the next day.

In the past 20 years, I’ve had one other birthday party. I celebrated my Sweet 16 at Olive Garden with a small group of school friends. Free breadsticks and salad make any party crunktastic.

As I got older, I convinced myself that I wasn’t throwing birthday parties because I didn’t want to be so selfish and make a big to-do. Really though, I think I was just nervous.

I’m ready to try this again. My Year of No Shopping ends on my birthday this year- September 1st. I’m thinking of doing a “Fuck yeah, I made it through this year!” celebration along with a birthday party.

And since you’ve been holding my hand this whole year, you’re invited.

So, I need your thoughts. Should I have a party at all? Any elements you think might make it gangsta’? How should I do this? And where?

Or, you can just tell me about the best party you’ve ever hosted or attended.
image via blueq.com

Don’t take me dumpster diving. I’m bad luck.

I may be a bad luck charm. Wait, is there such a thing as a “bad luck charm”? Let’s pretend there is.

I drove down to San Diego last weekend to go dumpster diving with my friend, Jennifer. We had lunch before our adventure because we weren’t sure if any restaurant would allow us into their establishment with our newly-contracted leprosy and rabid dog bites from strays afterwards.

Over lunch, Jennifer listed all the amazing things she’s found over the years. A barbecue grill, a bicycle, shelves for her office, furniture- I mean really, the list was long and super impressive. She added that she hadn’t even been looking for any of it. She found most of the treasures while walking her dog around her former neighborhood. It sounded so easy.

I got so worked up over the whole thing, I started making wild hand gestures during lunch. And noises, lots of noises. I’m going to make a bet that the next time Jennifer wants to hang out with me is going to be…never.

The whole “out for a casual walk with the dog” thing seemed like a great idea, so we picked up Jennifer’s dog, Grommet. It was almost believable, except for the trashing-picking claw device and rubber gloves we had handy.

We looked through eight different dumpster. And guess what we found!?!

Nothing.

Ok, I take that back. We did find a sad little plant and an empty bottle of face cream.

I think my dumpster-diving partner felt sorry for me because she sent me home with a batch of homemade macarons. I called Cal on the drive home because she loves these little treats.

Me: Cal, I’m bringing home a little something from San Diego. You’re gonna love it.

Cal: Is it from a dumpster?

Me: Uh…no.

Cal: Okay, then daddy says you can bring it into the house.

Clearly, we’re giving Cal a normal childhood.

That evening, I got an email from Jennifer. She wanted to show me a stash of plates and other fine wares she found after I left. See- I AM a bad luck charm.
____
A BIG CONGRATS to Wendy Seely Shulz. You’re the winner of the signed books giveaway! Please drop me a line at flourishinprogress at gmail dot com with your contact information.